The Narcissist In Me
"Mirror, mirror, am i beautiful?" asks the narcissist in me.
The royal rays of sun spread over my face in all their grandeur. The sun always chooses the same spot to rise from-a little above and behind my mirror(as if to adorn me). My mirror looks at my beaming face, undressing me, trying to reach my soul. It is one of his favorite admiring gazes, essentially masculine in nature. i blush.
Just then when i am about to comb my hair, i realize it is the onset of spring, the wind carrying the smell of drenched soil enriches my breath. The narcissist in me forgets itself. i reach out to feel the beauty of nature, how colourful, how fragrant, how youthful and how soothing. The best thing about nature's beauty is that it is indifferent. It does not don its elegant regalia to please a "special someone". She looks the same and refreshing every time. She does not even need a mirror for self assurance. At this thought my confidence takes a deep bow. Pleased with her beauty even the sun camouflages himself in her clouds to please her. Its mute rays are no longer needed to ornament her beauty. The narcissist in me hides beneath my skin, lingers there like a lemonish fragrance wondering what to do, waiting.
The sun like nature's aficionado sheds off its grandeur, lets his light through but holding back his heat, admiring her from a distance, taking a peep every now and then, playing hide and seek with her. He tires redundant but glad. Redundant because its part is not that great and glad because it is a part of nature. The game of hide and seek further enhances nature's kaleidoscopic charm. He peeps at her from behind the curtains of her clouds, enamored of her serenity, watches her on tiptoe soaking herself in her showers and soaking the earth too. Such a loser's, sorry lover's glance!
His innocence resembles the innocence of a small boy sitting with his chin in his hands, who looks at his mama dressing up for the day, who thinks that his mama is the most dazzling woman on earth, whose face beams with pride at the thought of being born of this beautiful woman. Bewitched by the charisma.
The narcissist in me forgets me awestruck by the beauty that demands no compliments, the beauty that appears to spread joy and not to obtain joy, the beauty that is for others-the million others who are not even associated with her, the beauty that does not call for attention but wins it, the beauty that needs no mirror and seeks no approval.
The most beautiful part of nature's beauty is that it does not step into competition. i see the narcissist in me deserting me. i see the narcissism shedding off from my skin in process carrying with it that layer of ego and pride. Somehow now i do not feel the need of a mirror to tell me that i am beautiful. i feel beautiful from within. The song the radio jockey plays to says "your beautiful". Seems like Gods talking to me in the voice of James Blunt. i know this seems a little too much but i believe in divine signals. why else would the radio jockey play this song, today, at this hour, at this very moment???
